


And Home Before Dark

by AnaliseGrey



Series: Februwhump Prompts 2019 [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Blood Loss, Cauterization, Februwhump, Injury, M/M, Questionable Field Medicine, Sequel, Spoilers, Whump, spoilers for Caleb's Backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 02:56:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17799818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaliseGrey/pseuds/AnaliseGrey
Summary: Caleb is upright.Mostly.That’s in no small part due to the arm Molly has braced around his waist; the healing potion Molly’d fed him had brought him back from the brink, but it still very much feels like he was shot a number of times, and it’s quite unpleasant. That’s to say nothing of the beating he’d taken before they’d fled the battleground; the barbed bolts were just added insult.





	And Home Before Dark

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel to [Into the Woods](http://archiveofourown.org/works/17342432).

Caleb is upright.

Mostly.

That’s in no small part due to the arm Molly has braced around his waist; the healing potion Molly’d fed him had brought him back from the brink, but it still very much feels like he was shot- a lot- and it’s quite painful. That’s to say nothing of the beating he’d taken before they’d fled the battleground; the barbed bolts were just added insult.

He can feel time flying past as they trudge through the woods. He’s fairly certain they’re heading in the right direction, and therefore back toward help, but Caleb’s not entirely sure they’ll get there fast enough. He hasn’t told Molly, but his wounds have started to bleed again from the movement of walking, wet warmth making what’s left of his shirt cling unpleasantly to his skin. More worrisome, as far as Caleb’s concerned, is that he knows nightfall isn’t far off. Another hour at most, though full dark will hit them under the tree canopy much faster. Caleb’s already having difficulty seeing where he’s going; he tells himself that’s due to the low light, and not the dizziness of blood loss.

He considers his options. He knows they have no potions left- if they had any, he’s certain he’d have been forced to drink them by now. Neither he nor Molly are gifted with healing magic, and Molly has already done his best to bandage Caleb’s wounds with his and Caleb’s shirts before they’d gotten moving. If there were anything else to be done, Molly would have done it.

That doesn’t mean that Caleb has done everything _he_ can, yet.

He knows Molly is going to argue with him. It’s the best possible solution, but that doesn’t mean it’s a _good_ solution, and he’s only considering it because he’s relatively certain getting back to town before dark is incredibly unlikely, and he in no way wants to be caught in the dark woods while leaving a trail of fresh blood behind. It’s asking for trouble, and neither of them can handle any more of that right now.

“Molly- Mollymauk, wait please.”

Molly comes to a stop, looking over at him. “Do you need a minute? We shouldn’t stop long, but we can rest a moment if you need-”

“Molly.” Caleb gathers some of his dwindling strength and projects more confidence than he’s feeling. “The bleeding has started again, and if I do not stop it we will attract predators and it won’t matter how close to town we get. Something else will find us first.”

“Wait, you’ve started- why didn’t you _say_ something, Caleb?” Molly breaks off into muttered curses, lowering Caleb down to sit so he’s propped against a tree before reaching for the strips of shirt he’d used to bandage Caleb’s wounds. Caleb catches Molly’s wrist before he can make contact.

“This _is_ me saying something. Molly, the bandages are not enough. Neither of us can heal, and there are no potions left.”

Molly frowns at him, barely visible to Caleb in the growing dimness. “Then what would you suggest we do? You said we had to stop the bleeding-”

Caleb shakes his head, lifting a trembling hand to let a small curl of flame lick over his fingertips. “No, not ‘ _we_ ’, Molly.”

Molly’s expression goes from confused to understanding to horrified in quick succession. “ _No_. Absolutely not. We can’t be that far out from town now; we’ll get there and get you help. No need to do anything foolish.”

Caleb snorts a laugh, then winces at the resultant spikes of pain. “I think we are well beyond pretty lies at this point, Mr. Mollymauk. Even if we move at full speed, it would be a close thing to get there before dark, and we both know we’re not going that fast. I am leaving a trail even the stupidest of predators could follow easily. That is all of course beside the point that I am slowly bleeding out. If we are to make it safely out of the woods, something must be done to stop it. We have tried dealing with it in more traditional ways, and they have failed.” Caleb looks from the flame flickering on his fingertips down to the blood-stained bandages. “Trust me when I say this is not a choice I am pleased to be making, nor one that I make on a whim. If I thought there was another way, I would happily consider it.” Caleb glances back up at Molly in the failing light and gives him a pained smile. “Mr. Mollymauk, if you have another suggestion, now is the time.”

Caleb can still see just enough of Molly’s face in the flickering firelight to see the anguish and indecision written across it. “Caleb, there _has_ to be a better way than-” Molly gestures down at Caleb’s hand. “-what you’re proposing.”

“If there is, I cannot think of it. And unless you’ve been holding back an idea, I think I would like to get this over with quickly, please.”

Molly’s face twists, and he spits a curse in Infernal that has Caleb flinching back. Molly holds his hands up in apology and composes himself before running a hand over his face with a frustrated huff. “No, no I don’t have any other ideas.”

Caleb nods, stifling a groan as he settles himself more firmly against the tree. “Alright.”

Caleb’s been hurt a lot in his life, in many different and horrible ways, but there’s something uniquely awful about the way burns feel. They throb, the pain penetrating and inescapable, and by the time he’s on the last wound, he hesitates, his fingers hovering over the injury. The three he’s cauterized already are screaming flares of agony, and realistically he knows adding one more won’t make much of a difference. If anyone deserves this kind of torment it’s him, but part of him still rebels at the thought of willingly putting his fingers into the last wound and searing it closed. He needs to focus, to do this and get it done so they can get moving, get somewhere _safe_ , but there’s a part of him, a treacherous whisper of thought that wonders if his parents had felt this, or if the smoke had taken them first-

“ _Caleb_.” There’s a burst of pain against Caleb’s cheek, snapping his head sideways; he blinks, Molly coming into focus in front of him, his arm lowering. “Are you with me?”

He isn’t, not entirely, but he’s present enough. “ _Ja. Ja_ , just-” He jams his fingers into the last bolt hole with a choked-off noise and lets his fingers ignite before he can think about it. The pain is immediate and nauseating, and he viciously bites down on the scream that wants to rip its way out of him. When he’s sure it’s done he lets his hand drop to his side, his head thumping back against the tree, and he takes a moment. It’s not until Molly’s hands settle over his and squeeze that he realizes how badly he’s shaking.

“Caleb, _mo chuisle_ , are you alright?” Molly’s voice is laced with concern, and Caleb is sure his face must match, but the light’s dim enough now he can’t see more than the basic shape of Molly in front of him. He responds with a gently unhinged laugh and a shake of his head.

“No, probably not. But time for that later, _ja_?”

“Caleb-” He can easily hear the frown in Molly’s voice, but chooses, as he does with many things, to ignore it. He pulls his hands away from Molly’s and gets one on the tree behind him, the other on the ground, and pushes himself up with a groan.

“Gods above, Caleb, you stubborn arsehole.” Molly’s hands are on him in an instant, helping steady him once he’s upright. “You could have taken another minute. A minute won’t matter.”

“We can’t know that, Mollymauk.” Caleb gives him a tremulous smile.  “Let’s get going.”

There’s a brief pause in which Caleb can feel the weight of disapproval from Molly’s stare, but Molly doesn’t say anything, just takes one of Caleb’s arms and flings it over his shoulder, wrapping his arm around Caleb’s waist to steady him before they start walking again.

“One of these days,” Molly huffs as they walk. “We’re going to have a long and probably unpleasant conversation about that deflection thing you do.”

“What do you mean?”

“You-” Molly pauses then says, “When you’re hurt you brush it off, like it doesn’t matter, or- or like you’re trying to get us to ignore it. You did it a little when we first met, but you do it more now.”

Caleb’s momentarily stunned. He thinks back on his interactions with the Nein, with Molly, and he can see what Molly’s talking about, the trend; it causes a painful curl in his gut, and gods, he doesn’t have the energy for this now.

“I’m not one to pry.” They go around a small boulder, Molly leading him deftly to the side and forward again. “You’ve never really dug into my past beyond that first time with everyone else, and I appreciate and respect that. A person should get to keep their own secrets, and only share what they like.”

He thinks Molly’s going to drop it, and is just starting to relax when Molly says, “If it weren’t for you almost getting killed so frequently, I’d leave it alone. But I’m scared one day we’re going to ignore something we shouldn’t, and you’re one who’ll suffer for it.”

Caleb has a number of responses he could make to that, but none of those will appease Molly, and would in fact probably just make him more worried than he already is. Caleb’s grateful for the low light; Molly can probably see him, but it’s easier to pretend he can’t when Caleb’s mostly blind. It soothes the crawling under his skin he gets when people look too closely, when they _see_ him, not as he pretends to be, but as he truly is.

Caleb considers his words carefully, and Molly- wonderful, ever-patient Molly- gives him the time to get his words in order. “It’s complicated.”

Molly’s arm tightens ever-so-briefly around Caleb’s waist. “Then explain it to me.” His voice is gentle, and Caleb’s heart squeezes, wondering how he deserves someone so kind.

“When we first met, the group of us, I was not in a good place. Nott helped, she always helps, but even she, as much as she tries, can only do so much.” Caleb huffs a laugh, and brings his free arm around his middle when the laugh jostles his injuries. “That’s not to say I am perfect now, mind you, but I was much worse back then.”

Molly is quiet, but Caleb thinks he sees him nod.

“I- I _care_ now, in a way I did not before. Back then I didn’t know you all the way I do now. We were all just a group of asshole strangers thrown together and-” It’s getting harder to think clearly, to articulate the muddy swirl of his thoughts. He sighs, leaning more heavily against Molly. “Now that I know you all better, I have a clearer idea of our strengths, our weaknesses. My priorities have shifted.”

“What changed? You know we all care about you, right?”

Caleb drops his hand from his stomach to find and pat the arm Molly has around his waist. “ _Ja_ , I know you do, _schatz_.”

“Then why? Why don’t you want us to help you?”

Caleb aches from the subtle hurt in Molly’s voice. How does he begin to explain? How does he tell Mollymauk that he doesn’t want them wasting resources on him, doesn’t want them using a potion on him that might keep one of them alive? He’s come a long way in terms of how he views things, how he views himself.

But.

If it comes to a decision of whether it should be him or someone else who lives, he just doesn’t see it as a very complex choice. He doesn’t want to die, but he will so someone else can live.

“It isn’t that I don’t want you to help me. I appreciate the care you show me. I just have a better idea of how to deploy our often limited resources.”

“You know you’re not any less important than anyone else, right?”

“Molly-”

“ _No_ , you listen to me.” Molly’s voice goes hard, and he comes to a stop, forcing Caleb to stop as well. Molly angles to face him, even though Caleb can’t properly see him at this point. “You’re just as important as anyone else. Your safety is important, your well-being is important, your health is important- physical, mental, or otherwise. You can say your priorities have changed, and I can’t tell you what to do or how to feel, but that doesn’t mean _my_ priorities have changed.” Molly sighs, shifts a little more, and Caleb startles at the touch of a hand to his face. “I can’t believe we’ve gone through so much, experienced and survived all that, just for you to decide that we shouldn’t care for you for whatever reason you’ve got built up in your head.” The hand on Caleb’s face flexes, and he leans into it as Molly’s thumb runs up over his cheekbone. Molly’s voice sounds closer and softer when he continues. “I know to you it makes sense, but believe me when I tell you I _want_ to know if you’re hurting. I _want_ to know if you’re unwell or in pain or just having a bad day. You’re part of my family. I love you and care about you. Please don’t shut me out.”

Caleb swallows past the lump that’s taken up residence in his throat and nods. He doesn’t trust his voice, but does trust that Molly can see his response. The cauterized wounds are pulsing, hot and insistent like small fires in his belly, his whole body aching with the edge of fever, but none of it hurts the way Molly’s quiet plea does. He wants to give in, desperately wants to give Molly everything and anything he wants. He can readily admit his life has improved greatly since Molly came into it, since the whole of the Mighty Nein came into it, but there are still things he has to do, things he must accomplish before he can even begin to deserve the kind love and affection Molly shows him. Molly is still waiting, expectant, and Caleb sighs wearily.

“I- I will try, _schatz_.”

“That’s all I ask, love.” Molly leans in and kisses Caleb, a quick press of lips to his forehead, and Molly hisses as he pulls back. “Fuck, you’re burning up. It’s time we get going. Sooner we get back, sooner Jester can have a look at you.”

Caleb steadies himself as best he can, takes a shuddering breath, and braces himself to move again. “ _Ja_. That- that is a good idea.”

Molly tightens his arm around Caleb’s waist, and together they find their way out of the woods.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh Caleb...at least you can acknowledge Molly loves you, even if you can't quite accept it yet.
> 
>  _mo chuisle_ \- my pulse  
>  _schatz_ = treasure, sweetheart
> 
> Want to yell about these guys, ask a question, or just say hi? Find me on tumblr at [Analisegrey](http://analisegrey.tumblr.com/), or on twitter at the same handle.


End file.
